A relationship can affect one another’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. So before getting into a relationship one has to have a prior idea of whether he/she can communicate well with their partner which will affect the relationship’s ups and downs
Commitment is needed in all kinds of relationships but generally, romantic relationships require more commitment than friendships. Without commitment, there is no value in this relationship. Research says, “Without commitment there may be uncertainty about the future, leading to insecurity and instability”. To be committed, both partners need to love each other equally, be loyal & stand by each other in harsh times. Growing together, achieving shared goals, and building a long-lasting relationship is crucial.
At a young age, many people rush into relationships out of emotions without knowing how to handle it for a long time. As a result, their dedications fade as time goes by and the relationship becomes dull. So before getting committed to someone we have to know a couple of crucial points :
1. Having deep meaningful conversations with your partner
Before getting into a relationship, have helpful conversations with your partner which will make your upcoming relationship grow stronger. Firstly, You can discuss things about each other’s life goals, and ask more open-ended questions that will lead to a deep conversation. Secondly, You can ask about their past relationships and personal questions you need to know before getting committed to him/her. Shortly, clear all doubts u have on your mind about them.
For example: if a partner knows about a dark past story from his partner that can break the relationship after a long period, the relationship will end tragically. As it’s a matter of a long period, Both partners will suffer mentally and become depressed. So it won’t end well.
Thirdly, for a meaningful conversation, both must be fully open to each other and not keep any secrets or fears. A good meaningful conversation will help you to become closer to each other spiritually and emotionally and it will reflect your partner’s personality & his perspectives on various controversial and important topics more specifically. It can also determine whether you can trust your partner or not./As a result, you can judge if they are the wrong or the right one for you. So having these conversations right before you jump in helps you get on the same line, avoid some big red flags, and stay committed.
Research has shown that having these conversations predicts healthier long-term relationships (Johnson, 2008).
2. Being comfortable with each other
Your partner will be your comfort zone for your whole life. So you have to be comfortable with your partner in any conditions. In a relationship, if you are comfortable you wouldn’t need to run through any lines on your mind. You would speak without much thought and it wouldn’t be mistaken. Even if you are mistaken you are given the room to explain yourself to your partner. As a result, it will help to grow the relationship and trust.
Firstly. Start by making really good friends with them. After being good friends with them, you both can express each other without any hesitations and a lovable bond of trust and dependence will grow which will lead to a long-lasting relationship afterwards.
Secondly, don’t make a complex version of yourself in front of them. It will lead them to think that you are hard to understand and love. As a result, peace will fade away between both of your minds and the relationship won’t work as you expect. Only becoming comfortable will help you to be yourself in front of them.
“To be comfortable in a relationship suggests that you have developed a level of attachment security, which is essential for your physical and emotional wellbeing.” says psychologist Kayla Steele
3. Always be ready to compromise
Compromising in romantic relationships is finding the middle ground between your and your partner’s wishes habits or preferences. Simply it means to value your partner’s desires. It entails mutual respect and regard for each other’s feelings and needs. But one has to remember that it should also be in a positive way not in a toxic way. Sometimes compromising can be a gateway to toxicity.
For example: If you are the only one giving up things but getting nothing in back it will be an unhealthy compromise. As a result, the relationship will look like only one person is making an effort and the other doesn’t value them. Because of this lack of balance in compromise, the relationship won’t survive for a long time.
So firstly for compromising, you need to allow your partner to do the things he/she likes without any sort of interference. But you have to be careful about the facts as well whether it will have a positive or negative influence on them. If it’s not right for them then make them understand with a cool mind without shouting or holding conflicts about the matter as it will look like a forcing behavior in front of them.
Secondly, don’t impose yourself on your partner, as it will create barriers between you. Learn to handle maturely in those aspects.
Thirdly, don’t always insist on having things your way when dealing with your partner on various life-related topics. This will only make your partner uncomfortable with you and he will start to be distant from you and the relationship won’t be peaceful.
In a relationship, compromise is an invitation to collaborate with your partner while solving problems,” says Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of “The Seven Destinies of Love.”
4. Avoid being manipulative with your partner
Manipulative behavior occurs when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. A saying goes, “ True love is based on autonomy & decision- making, not manipulation & control” It also signifies being too demanding in a relationship. Some manipulation tactics are: gashlighting, lying, criticizing, blaming & shaming.
Bits of Advice you need to know before getting committed
A relationship can affect one another’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. So before getting into a relationship one has to have a prior idea of whether he/she can communicate well with their partner which will affect the relationship’s ups and downs
Commitment is needed in all kinds of relationships but generally, romantic relationships require more commitment than friendships. Without commitment, there is no value in this relationship. Research says, “Without commitment there may be uncertainty about the future, leading to insecurity and instability”. To be committed, both partners need to love each other equally, be loyal & stand by each other in harsh times. Growing together, achieving shared goals, and building a long-lasting relationship is crucial.
Gaslighting :
Gashlighting is a form of emotional abuse exerted to gain power in the relationship. it’s most common in romantic settings, where one person is so important to the other that they don’t want to take the chance of upsetting or losing them. Trust issues are created in relationships constantly due to this. It stigmatizes the mental health of your partner which will lead to their tiredness in relationships.
Lying :
Lying undermines a relationship when it is used to cover up actions or say it repeatedly. At the same time, some lying is normal & can serve as a way to keep the peace or avoid hurting the other person’s feelings. It can cause feelings of disrespect and hurt and damage the relationship’s beautiful foundation.
Criticizing :
Criticizing is a destroyer of the comfort zone in relationships. When a partner gets “comfortable being uncomfortable” with their partner then an undying strong bond is created between them. But when a partner becomes a victim of criticism by their partner, they become insecure & all insecurities get drowned up in their mind which leads to depression & anxiety. As a result, a partner gets detached from emotional connection in relationships which leads to breakups.
Blaming
Often, blame games creep into a relationship, leading to unwelcomed arguments and conflicts. It can form a growing sense of resentment and anger toward your partner. But sometimes blaming can have a positive effect as well (when it will make your partner a better person)
Shaming :
Shame makes it difficult to open up or be intimate with your partner. Being intimate requires the ability to be open, and vulnerable, and accept any kind of words coming from your partner. It is regarded as the “Silent killer of relationships”.
“Emotional manipulation in a relationship is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to control another person’s emotions which destroys the basic foundation of a relationship’” explains Dr. Harold Hong, a psychiatrist from Raleigh, North Carolina.
5. Make sure you’re attracted to the person not the idea of the relationship
By the flow of this generation, some people want to be in a relationship so badly because of driven emotions. They don’t even realize they’re more attracted to the idea of a relationship than the person they’re in a relationship with. As a result, the relationship becomes a casual relationship where emotional connection doesn’t develop & the relationship won’t work out for the whole lifetime when one person isn’t attracted to their partner. Because attraction is the flow-keeper of romantic relationships
Firstly, make sure you’re attracted to your partner by asking yourself some questions. some examples are :
i) Does this individual cause positive feelings?
ii) do you want to come to them in your joyful or challenging moments?
iii) do u think of kissing, hugging, or cuddling with them while looking at them?
iv) do their thoughts circulate around you often?
v) Have you started imagining your future with them?
Secondly, you can make sure you’re attracted to your partner if you want physical intimacy from only them as he makes you feel different. it symbolizes that you’re attracted to them & want to feel their warmth by your side.
Moreover, make sure you’re not attracted to them only sexually. Because sexual attraction will fade away with time & it will cause a downfall to relationships. As a result, emotional connection doesn’t grow strong which is needed for a healthy relationship. Regarding side effects of sexual attraction in relationships research goes,” In addition to sexual regret, casual sex is associated with psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, as well as low self-esteem and reduced life satisfaction”(Bersamin et al., 2014)
To wrap up things finally, just a small reminder that without commitment you can’t have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business, or a hobby, and you have to choose your partner wisely who is also ready to take commitments. To be committed to your relationship means that you cherish the relationship more than anything.
Criticizing: Criticizing is a destroyer of the comfort zone in relationships. When a partner gets “comfortable being uncomfortable” with their partner then an undying strong bond is created between them. But when a partner becomes a victim of criticism by their partner, they become insecure & all insecurities get drowned up in their mind which leads to depression & anxiety. As a result, a partner gets detached from emotional connection in relationships which leads to breakups.
Shaming: Shame makes it difficult to open up or be intimate with your partner. Being intimate requires the ability to be open, and vulnerable, and accept any kind of words coming from your partner. It is regarded as the “Silent killer of relationships”.
“Emotional manipulation in a relationship is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to control another person’s emotions which destroys the basic foundation of a relationship’” explains Dr. Harold Hong, a psychiatrist from Raleigh, North Carolina.
By the flow of this generation, some people want to be in a relationship so badly because of driven emotions. They don’t even realize they’re more attracted to the idea of a relationship than the person they’re in a relationship with. As a result, the relationship becomes a casual relationship where emotional connection doesn’t develop & the relationship won’t work out for the whole lifetime when one person isn’t attracted to their partner. Because attraction is the flow-keeper of romantic relationships
Firstly, make sure you’re attracted to your partner by asking yourself some questions. some examples are :
i) Does this individual cause positive feelings?
ii) do you want to come to them in your joyful or challenging moments?
iii) do u think of kissing, hugging, or cuddling with them while looking at them?
iv) do their thoughts circulate around you often?
v) Have you started imagining your future with them?
Secondly, you can make sure you’re attracted to your partner if you want physical intimacy from only them as he makes you feel different. it symbolizes that you’re attracted to them & want to feel their warmth by your side.
Moreover, make sure you’re not attracted to them only sexually. Because sexual attraction will fade away with time & it will cause a downfall to relationships. As a result, emotional connection doesn’t grow strong which is needed for a healthy relationship. Regarding side effects of sexual attraction in relationships research goes,” In addition to sexual regret, casual sex is associated with psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, as well as low self-esteem and reduced life satisfaction”(Bersamin et al., 2014)
To wrap up things finally, just a small reminder that without commitment you can’t have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business, or a hobby, and you have to choose your partner wisely who is also ready to take commitments. To be committed to your relationship means that you cherish the relationship more than anything.